Strange Greetings

In the English language, there are a few greetings that are simply weird when translated to other languages.  Take "What's up?" or "Sleep tight!" as examples.  

Koreans have many greeting expressions that are quite funny when I hear (or use) them.

Most common "Hello" in Korean is "An-nyung-ha-se-yo?" ("Doing well?", literally)  in respected form and "An-nyung" ("well") in non-respected... 

To say "Bye", sometimes people say "Stay well" (sort of like "take care") or "Go well" (sort of like "Have a safe trip [to wherever you're going]") depending on whether the other person is staying or leaving the then-current location.

Not so strange so far, but there are some peculiar greetings such as...

"Have you eaten?" when greeting somebody shortly after a meal time... very common greeting at work.  It's not like they're offering to eat with you if you haven't.  If you answer "no", people usually just say "Why not?  You should eat..." I should say "No.  Good thing you asked, though, because I didn't have anybody to eat with... you want to go get lunch together?"  That would put them in an awkward spot if they have eaten and/or if you're not really close to them.

"You came?" when meeting somebody as expected.  Obviously, you're there.  Of course you came.  You would reply back "Yeah, I came." or "I returned" in case you return after a departure (at home or at work).  When my mom asked "you came?" whenever I returned home from school, I often jokingly replied back "no"... my mom thinks I'm a strange kid anyways.

"I will go in" or "Go in" when parting ways, in respected form.  In reference to you going inside your home, you would use this greeting if you're parting away from somebody or vice versa.  People use this even when the people are not going "inside" anywhere.  I found it especially strange when people used this when hanging up the phone... since both of you could be talking on the phone at home.

"Hang up" or "Mmm" as other greetings for hanging up the phone.  You could use the regular "bye"s for hanging up the phone, but people also often say "hang up" as a means of saying "bye".  Even more peculiar... Koreans use a "mmm" or "eung" as an informal "yes" (more like "yeah") and they use this to hang up a call.  However, often you find both sides of a phone conversation saying "mmm" multiple times before actually hanging up.  A common visualization of a Korean person hanging up the phone is someone saying "hang up mmm mmm mmm mmm...." as he/she slowly lowers his/her head along with the receiver then finally putting down the receiver and hanging up.

"Work hard" or "Suffer" as a parting greeting at work or to somebody working.  You actually tell somebody to "work hard" or you say "you're going through a lot of trouble" as a "hello" alternative.  I guess it sort of makes sense if you're saying that you appreciate their troubles they're going through, but I've often heard people tell others to literally "suffer".  That's a little extreme, in my opinion, but I've heard a counter-argument where somebody said people use the expression because, back in the old days,  it was considered to be of good fortune to be suffering as a result of working.

Besides verbal greetings, Koreans follow the respected vs non-respected forms of physical greetings.  When greeting an older person, people bow or shake hands but a handshake has to be accompanied by a bow and the other hand holding the shaking arm or somewhere on the torso.  Koreans do not use any form of kissing and hardly any hugging.  Very little physical contact when greeting, in general, compared to western cultures.

Ladies doing the "45-degree belly button bow", thanks for all your sufferance.

What did you say, boy?

Koreans have two main different ways of speaking:  You use a respected form when you are talking to somebody who are strangers to you or who are older than you; and you use a non-respected form when you are talking to somebody you know well.

Even in the respected form, there are different levels of respect or formality... those who watch a lot Korean drama can tell that some sentences end often with "... -ni-da".. and some end with "... -yo"... these are the different levels of formality.  You also have to some different vocabularity for this form.  There are three different words for "birthday"... talk about redundancies...

Likewise, in the non-respected form, there are variations... For example, you can use this form of the language to somebody older than you, but you can never call them "you"... you call them by their relations to you, like "big brother" "mom" "mister" and you cannot ever swear at somebody older than you.  You can only talk freely to people who are familiar to you and same age or younger.

It's all BS, really.. because you talk differently to people based on age.  It limits the control you have over the language.  I sometimes garnish my appreciation towards a friend with some vulgarity..."You son of a bitch, I'm glad to have a fucker like you as a friend."  I can't say that to somebody who's even one year older than me.  "Big brother, I'm glad to have a big brother like you."  They don't hold the same meaning....  Two people can talk in casual form to each other only when they're "friends" (i.e. same age) and not in "big brother - little brother" or "big sister - little sister" relationships.

Age is an unnecessarily complex factor in determining how you talk to somebody.  You could be the same age (i.e. born on the same year) but if you're talking to somebody who was born in January or February (i.e. born on the previous lunar new year), he/she might expect to give him/her proper respects.  Also, you have situations where somebody who was born in January can be "friends" with one person 9 months older and another 9 months younger, but the way they talk to each other is different.  It makes absolutely no sense that some dude born in April calls another dude born in previous December (4 months apart) "big brother".. while he's "friends" with somebody born in the following December (8 months apart).

Also, you just met somebody... that person is around the same age as you and you are getting to know this person quite well.  When do you switch from respected form to the casual form?  I never know.  I make the switch too fast and they go "how old did you say you were?"... (enter awkwardness)...  I miss the chance to switch and I end up in a perpetual state of using a mix of the two different forms of the language.

Ok... if you're talking to who's like 20 years older than you, fine, you could show some respect in the language you speak, but come on... why should you and I talk differently to one another because you lived one more year??  Why can't everybody be friends?

This Korean culture will not change overnight but it's something I will never get fully accustomed to.

I'm 5 minutes older than you, so watch what you say.